5 Ferries

The weather forecast wasn't great for today but it didn't stop us getting out and about once more. I'd just got back from the Isle of Mull and a day trip to Muck on the Lochnevis with Inspector Gadget (of Pug Trip fame back in May) and today I was in the company of fellow SoC Crew once more, Al (aka TT, or the Tiree Terrorist, a name behind which there is a long running joke) and Sam, who also goes by the name of Balephuil Bay (or B'Bay for short). The itinerary for the next 12 hours involved doing what has become known as the 5 ferries tour.

The day started at Wemyss Bay at 0830 when the three of us met up and Bute was on her way over from Rothesay. B Bay's dad dropped him off at the pier shortly after TT and myself rocked up in the Flea and picked up the tickets. Now at this point I'm turning SoC into a blatant advert for CalMac (as if we didn t do that already!). The offer we were taking advantage of is seriously great value - 79.00 for a car and up to four occupants for the Wemyss Bay - Rothesay, Rhubodach - Colintraive, Portavadie - Tarbert, Claonaig - Lochranza and Brodick - Ardrossan routes. Think about it - this lot should cost loads more and I for one intend on doing the trip at least once more!

Anyway, back to the story and B Bay got into the Flea shortly before boarding commenced. The first entertainment of the day came in the form of a prison van sitting at the front of the queue on the pier. I can t remember whether it was TT or B Bay that came out with the comment about Zak causing mischief with his camera over on the island and his collection party was being dispatched for him, but it certainly caused some mirth! (Sorry if your ears were buring Zak!)

We went aboard and were sent down the centre lane of the car deck, then it was upstairs to watch the departure. I had a quick look in the shop area as sometimes the morning sailings have breakfast rolls on sale sadly not this time as they had all been sold. That s the advantage of the larger units in the Western Isles they replenish their supplies if they sell out! (Argyle and Bute please take note!) So out onto the deck and upstairs to the bow. It was starting to drizzle at this point as Bute backed away from the linkspan however we could just see Loch Shira to the south although it was getting a tad misty down there.

Argyle was advancing towards us as we sheltered out of the cold breeze from the north and the cameras were brought out for the first of numerous times throughout the day. The pictures weren t the best I d ever taken but given the conditions, they weren t that bad. The others were snapping away too and looking back at the pictures later in the day I was impressed with the range of shots.

At one point while we were standing at the bow chatting one of the crew appeared below and produced what can only be described as a long pole. Childish as it is this attracted lots of remarks about long protrusions and such like especially when it got longer, much longer, and started spraying! Quite innocently, he was spraying the paintwork in an attempt to clean the bird droppings off Sadly though it was evident our minds were to be found in the gutter this morning!

As we came round the corner and into Rothesay Bay, all eyes turned to the road along the shore, and in particular to see whether Zak was around or not (given away by the presence of the Pug). It looked like he was and I called out They re coming for you in reference to the joke about the prison van down below on the car deck not that he could hear me of course! Anyway, we came alongside and headed back down to the car as the stern ramp was lowered. Zak s collection vehicle was first off and then it was the Flea s turn. It was actually my first time driving off the boat over the new linkspan every other time recently has been in the other direction. It was dry again by the time we came off the ferry and the plan was to get across to Kintyre late in the morning so we headed straight for Rhubodach and the Loch Dunvegan.

As is the norm when heading up to catch the ferry, the vessel was over at Colintraive meaning a wait for it to come over. The drizzle was on again for this bit and so once we crossed over to Colintraive we left for Portavadie without hanging around for photos. The tide was right out as we went up and round the top of Loch Riddon and then the Flea started on the long climb up to the Kyles viewpoint where there were already 3 other tourist cars. Not stopping, we dropped down into Portavadie and Isle of Cumbrae could be seen about 10 minutes out on the return journey from Tarbert. There was already quite a queue lined up at the top of the slipway and I for one was glad that various vessel cascades have taken place over the last few years, for had it been the Rhum or the Bruernish then we d have been in for a bit of a wait for the first empty queue in the line was number 7!

As it was, once the Isle of Cumbrae had reloaded the car deck was mostly full thanks to a coach (which just happened to be carrying a party of pensioners on a day trip from Rothesay). The Flea was just small enough to go down the side of the coach and we were all still able to get out onto the car deck rather than spend the whole crossing couped up in the car.

It was low tide as the ferry was in and so she was nearly aground on the slipway once the coach was aboard. The ramp was raised and the thirty year old Isle of Cumbrae pulled away and out into the loch. The crossing was uneventful, save for one brief moment where it appeared the skipper fell asleep at the Voith wheels! It took us a few seconds to realise that for some unexplained reason the Isle of Cumbrae was performing an emergency-stop, causing a little bemusement amongst other passengers. After a short time at rest we resumed forward motion and in a little under 20 minutes the alarms were going off again as the ramp was landed on Tarbert slipway. It was just as dull over on Kintyre and we headed next for Kennacraig where the Hebridean Isles was due in shortly after.

Once in the car park on the island that is Kennacraig we split up. While B Bay and the Tiree One wandered around to get the best vantage point close to the linkspan I donned my wellies and went wandering off along the shoreline to get another angle for pictures. Between you and me I used the cover of some tall reeds to attend to an urgent call of nature (having forgotten to go while on the Isle of Cumbrae) although it took ages to get there and involved crossing several streams that were almost as deep as my wellies were tall, though I didn t tell the water depth bit to the others!

Hebridean Isles emerged from behind the headland roughly on time and slowly moved towards the linkspan. I crouched down to get some low-level shots of the vessel. Unbeknown to me my partners-in-crime had their cameras trained on me as I squatted in what could look like a rather compromising position ! (TT s exact comment was along the lines of you looked like you were taking a s*** !!! Cheers mate!!)

The ferry came alongside and unloaded the traffic from Islay. Unfortunately the lorry that was out on the open stern got stuck on the bow ramp as it was brought off. Efforts to minimise the damage were then compounded by the shore crew lowering the linkspan at first, which provided some very interesting tones of metal scraping on metal! Even on the far side of the bay I could clearly hear the lorry as it scraped its way off the ferry, leaving behind a thick layer of rust which was attended to shortly afterwards by a junior crew member. Typical

Back on the tarmac I changed out of the wellies and went off to find the others. I didn t need to wander far as they were down by the linkspan taking photos close up of the ferry and a group of unsuspecting cyclists (that B Bay is a terror for catching people unawares!) Our next port of call was to be Tarbert once more for the Isle of Cumbrae coming back and we didn t have time to wait for Hebridean Isles to load up and leave. Instead we went back along the road to Tarbert and parked up on the north side of the harbour while the Isle of Cumbrae was making her way over once more.

We d spotted a handy path that heads along the northern shore to a point that lies opposite the slipway and faces out to the outer pier and Loch Fyne. After a couple of nearly embarrassing slips on B Bay s behalf we emerged onto the shore moments before the ferry appeared and took up positions. TT went up into the rocks and BB disappeared out of sight altogether while I stayed down by the water (I didn t fancy the idea of slipping and breaking a limb coming back down from the rocks!)

Isle of Cumbrae came in and we all moved vantage points. I cautiously went up to a higher point, the Tiree Terrorist went further over the higher rocks and Balephuil Bay made his way at speed along the rocky shore all that practise scampering along slippery decks obviously came in handy as his ankles remained intact! Sadly though it was to no avail as the point he wanted to reach was just too far to get to before Isle of Cumbrae left again. Meanwhile I was up on a rock being bitten to death by a million and one of those wonderful examples of the humble Tarbetian midge (much worse than the standard Scottish variety!)

Scrambling down those rocks was just as precarious as I d imagined it would be and at one point I was convinced I was going to end the day having my ankle set into a cast! We headed back up to the car and relocated to what is becoming something of a tradition for a true SoC road trip the Co-op! On today s shopping list was to be found, amongst other things, a rather manky tuna sandwich which had very little in the way of tuna, a bag of giant Cadbury s buttons and nine jam doughnuts (a bit of a rip off given that the bag said it contained ten!)

Now, with me being the driver for today, I had power of veto over the others and there was no way I was going to let them stuff their faces with doughnuts, chocolate and all the other stuff we bought while I had to keep my hands on the wheel! We headed off down to Tayinloan and the next crossing, onboard the Loch Ranza. We got there in plenty of time and so feeding time at the zoo commenced

6 doughnuts and a rather bland sandwich later we left the Flea in the car park and went down to the top of the slipway as the last of the 4 original Baby Lochs approached. There were a few funny looks from the crew as the ferry arrived no doubt they were wondering what those three idiots were doing clambering on the rocks taking pictures of them

The next part of the day saw us deviating from the 5 Ferries tour as we went onto the Loch Ranza. The crossing was calm and by 1520 we were stepping off the ferry onto Gigha. Here the entertainment continued as the three of us went down onto the rocks to the north of the slipway. B Bay was observed sitting like a hobbit on a rock, TT was caught on camera telling B Bay that he would be ready to go in two minutes and I was unfortunately caught once again on camera (something I avoid where possible)

Loch Ranza left us behind as she continued on her daily routine whilst we wandered off along the road and over to the little caf near the beach. B Bay was out with the camera again and spent much of his time trying to get a photo of some random bloke sitting beside his tent on a foldaway chair wearing a wholly inappropriate (given the weather and distinct lack of sun) pair of sunglasses! This photo was to be paired with the wisdom imparted by a man on a beach holiday with his family. Whilst talking on his mobile a phrase to sum up the weather that day was heard to escape his mouth. Namely: It s not raining, so that s a bonus.

And then perhaps the most memorable and downright obscure conversation of the day took place Quite what hallucinogenic substance I must have unwittingly ingested I am still unsure but as I recall it B Bay announced that eating the left side of a hamster was supposed to bring good luck whereas the right side was supposed to bring good health, though eating both sides apparently brings about a painful death! Yes, I couldn t quite work it out either. Still it set the level for the next hour or so until we got back to Tayinloan, well, while we weren t taking advantage of the mint choc chip ice cream that was available!

There was enough time for some arty farty pictures of little boats at the pier while we waited for the Loch Ranza to return. It was on the return sailing that I got what had to be the picture of the day. Sadly the picture in question had to be deleted at the request of B Bay, whose facial expression on said photo said an awful lot, given the location of his hands at the time! Honestly guys, the picture was absolutely classic Oh well, the three of us all saw it and had a right laugh at B Bay s expense and then I spared his blushes and deleted the pic. So, to replace that picture I got this one instead (bottom right in these)!!

And the Tiree Terrorist didn t escape either !

Back at Tayinloan we took the hard route along to the beach (ie rather than walk along the road and down across the grass we scrambled along the rocks) to get some pictures of the ferry as she set off for Gigha once more. Now, those of you who have seen the Daily Bute may recall one recent trip in which one of our party demonstrated a liking to lying down on the job (all in the name of photography you understand ) Well the identity of the said person is revealed in this particular image!

Loch Ranza duly left on her 1700 sailing and we got back into the Flea, where B Bay impersonated Inspector Gadget and ran back to the shore to collect his jacket and camera bag. (This had already happened two hours before when he left the same items on a rock at the Gigha slipway upon arrival, saying I ll put these here for a few minutes... . Of course he forgot and left them there for well over an hour!)

Now heading north, we dropped down to West Loch Tarbert where the Hebridean Isles could be seen on her inward sailing from Port Askaig. The Loch was glass-calm so I duly pulled in to let the obligatory pictures be snapped before we carried on to Claonaig.

The remainder of the trip was to take us via the Kilbrannan Sound to Lochranza and then from Brodick to Ardrossan on the floating brick . The Loch Tarbert was coming across as we got to Claonaig and we were soon boarding ferry number 5. The crossing was once again smooth although Loch Tarbert always has this slow sensation about her and the half hour seemed to take so much longer. It looked as though it was sunny over towards Ardrossan though Lochranza appeared to be the same monotonous grey as had been dominant all day so far.

One notable yet curious quirk that came to light on this crossing was the presence of a large aluminium pot left out on deck immediately below the wheelhouse. Quite what it was doing there was sadly never revealed, although it seemed to be rather attractive to B Bay as he was to be found causing unease among the other passengers by taking photos of said pot. Once he was back and the worried looking tourists had stopped staring at him, he explained that he had seen a similar pan adorning an access hatch on the Loch Ranza earlier. Is there perhaps a full set of cooking instruments shared between all the Loch Class? We may never know.

Upon leaving the ferry at Lochranza there was no time to hang around as check-in at Brodick was only 30 minutes away. Considering the state of the roads on Arran (they make the ones on Mull look like soft felt!) it would easily take the full half hour to get to the Caledonian Isles. As it was the drive turned into a nightmare the Flea didn t like going over the bumpy road with three of us in at more than about 25mph! And there was no way I was letting my car suffer like Inspector Gadget s had on the Sconser road a couple of months ago

As if the road quality wasn t bad enough, we then got stuck behind a tourist bus didn t we. We could easily see the Caledonian Isles advancing towards the terminal and by the time we got to Brodick she was alongside. We were the last ones to join the vehicle queues, at least according to the list the nice girl doing check-in had. Strange then that I was sent down lane 1 and we ended up boarding first not bad eh?

There was one funny moment while waiting to board TT voiced his thoughts on the lass doing check-in (I think it was something along the lines of Jeremy Clarkson commenting on Fiona Bruce s bottom when in the lift on that episode of Top gear) only it was loud enough for both me and B Bay to hear and also the subject of the conversation oops!

As we left Brodick the rain set in and we went down inside the passenger areas. B Bay and myself went off in search of food, however with it being the last sailing of the day there was precious little on offer just a few rather unappealing macaroni cheeses and a bowl of rather old looking chips. When I asked for scampi and chips I was told in no uncertain terms that they had run out and all that was left was what I could see basically they couldn t be bothered to cook what was on the menu. We left the cafeteria somewhat unimpressed and returned to the lounge.

The rest of the crossing was spent with the three of us reviewing the various photos taken during the day and before long we were approaching Ardrossan breakwater, with Saturn visible at the Irish berth. Shortly after came the call to the car deck and only a few minutes later the ramp was lowered to let us go ashore. B Bay had arranged with his parents that we d drop him off at Wemyss Bay just over 12 hours after the jaunt began and we got there almost dead on 2100 to find his mum waiting in the car. Goodbyes were said and while BB went north us two went back to Skelmorlie and what had served as base for the last day.